Feb 03 2026 16:00
Heather Roberts
Navigating a child custody matter can feel confusing, especially when you are hearing conflicting information from friends, family, or online sources. It is easy for outdated assumptions or misunderstandings to create added stress during an already emotional time.
Misconceptions about how custody decisions are made often lead to unnecessary fear or tension between co-parents. To help you approach the process with clarity, this post breaks down five of the most common child custody myths and explains what actually happens in court.
Myth #1: Mothers Automatically Receive Custody
A lot of people still believe that courts naturally favor mothers when assigning custody. While this may have been more common decades ago, modern custody decisions work very differently.
Today’s courts evaluate both parents equally. The primary question is always: what arrangement best supports the child’s well‑being? Judges look closely at factors such as who handles daily routines, the child’s emotional connection to each parent, the stability of each household, and how each parent’s work schedule fits the child’s needs.
Because of this, many fathers receive joint or even primary custody when they are actively involved in parenting. The court’s focus is not on gender—it is on ensuring the child is safe, emotionally supported, and living in a healthy environment, regardless of which parent provides that care.
Myth #2: Children Get to Choose Where They Live
Another common belief is that once a child reaches a certain age, they can simply pick which parent they want to live with. While a child’s wishes can matter, they are never the only factor in a custody decision.
Judges often take a child’s preferences into account, particularly when the child demonstrates maturity. However, the reason behind the preference matters. A desire for fewer rules, more screen time, or a later bedtime typically carries less weight. A thoughtful explanation—such as wanting to remain in the same school, stay close to long‑term friends, or maintain consistent extracurricular activities—may have more influence.
In some cases, the court may appoint a guardian ad litem (GAL) to meet with the child and share their perspective with the judge. This allows the child to be heard without placing them directly in the middle of the conflict. Even so, the final decision rests with the judge, who considers the whole picture to determine what serves the child’s best interests.
Myth #3: Joint Custody Means a 50/50 Time Split
The term “joint custody” is often misunderstood. Many assume it means both parents will spend exactly the same amount of time with the child, but joint custody does not always work that way.
There are two categories of custody: legal custody and physical custody. Legal custody addresses who makes major decisions about the child’s life—such as education, healthcare, and religious upbringing. Physical custody focuses on where the child lives.
Parents may share legal custody even if the child spends more time living with one parent. The actual schedule depends on many things, including school commitments, work routines, travel distance between homes, and the child’s age. Courts rarely insist on a perfect 50/50 split. Instead, they aim to build a schedule that supports the child’s well‑being, keeps routines consistent, and allows both parents to remain actively involved.
Myth #4: Child Support Stops If You Gain Full Custody
Some parents believe that having full physical custody means child support is no longer relevant. In reality, custody and child support are separate issues under the law.
Child support ensures that both parents contribute financially to the child’s needs. When calculating support, courts typically consider each parent’s income, the cost of essential expenses such as food, clothing, medical care, and housing, as well as costs related to childcare, school activities, or special needs.
Even when one parent has primary physical custody, the other parent may still be responsible for contributing financially. Child support is not a reward or punishment—it is a tool to help the child maintain a stable and consistent lifestyle.
Myth #5: You Can Block Visitation If Child Support Isn’t Paid
One of the most damaging myths is the idea that a parent can refuse visitation if the other parent fails to pay child support. While it may feel unfair when payments fall behind, visitation and child support are entirely separate legal matters.
If a parent stops paying support, the solution is to seek help through the court—not to limit contact between the child and the other parent. Courts handle unpaid support through legal mechanisms such as wage garnishment, license suspension, or fines. They do not want parents withholding visitation, because that harms the child and can make the situation worse.
Denying court‑ordered parenting time can reflect poorly on the parent enforcing the restriction. Working through the legal system protects your rights, shows the court that you are following the proper process, and helps ensure the child continues to benefit from healthy relationships with both parents.
Need Guidance on a Custody Matter?
If you are considering modifying an existing arrangement or starting the custody process for the first time, speaking with an experienced professional can make the path clearer. You do not have to sort through the uncertainty alone.
Reach out today to discuss your situation and explore your options. Support is available to help you move forward with confidence and make the best decisions for your family.